this weekend it felt like summer

This weekend, it felt like summer. We were in Havasu all weekend enjoying the 85 degree weather, swimming in the lake, boating, sliding down water slides, listening to country music, eating bbq and being with our friends. I wore nothing but sundresses and swim suits, I slept very little and swam an awful lot. Tomorrow, I go back to school and today I had to pick classes for next semester. What a sweet time summer is, nestled between every day life and school just time to enjoy the sun and the heat and friends and swimming. Growing up I remember summer being about lemoniade stands and homemade popsicles and play dates every day and as I've gotten older it's become much more about working and saving money and taking summer classes, this summer that is changing becuase this weekend? this weekend felt like real summer, not the one focused on saving and work and stress the one focused on fun and friends and vacations. So this summer I am determinded to make it a real summer. I need to enjoy them while they last, and maybe I'll document more!

checking in

Okay you guys, it's been a longgg time... I started this blog as a journal, so I had a place to put my thoughts, feelings and experiences. I really loved having a place to do that and then I found myself being concerned about how the layout looked, how often I was posting and what I was posting about, that is so silly because this is me and my life! I would get writers block... on what basically is a journal! Hopefully this will be able to stop and I will write whatever I want and I'm hoping this leads to more posts! Hehe :) Happy End of febuary!

I recently read an a post over at on Andrea's blog about checking in on each other and it really touched my heart. In relationships it's so easy to get selfish (at least in mine it is! Haha) Ryan just cares so much about me and I know he would do anything to make me happy, it's so easy to be selfish and only do the things I want because he's willing. Sometimes I forget that it's important that he's happy too, I don't always ask his opinions or  listen to him, but I'm trying.
This past weekend, we went away for a little trip just us, we stayed in flagstaff but went out to an area where neither of us had phone service, we cooked dinner, played games and mostly just caught up, we had a chance to talk about our relationship what we like and dislike and what will help us grow together. Last night we talked for hours, I got ice cream and we worked things through. It's nice to check in on each other once in a while, it's nice to know what he's feeling and have a chance to express my wants and needs. I love checking in on each other. It's hard to do because I get emotional and he's not always super happy when we do but afterwards I feel so much better that we talked (hoping he does too!) We don't always have things figured out but it's nice to at least get these conversations started and figure the rest out as we go!

I love this man, I am so blessed by him.

friday letters!! yayy

dear Ryan,

 I hope you have a fun adventure this weekend. 

thanks for making sure I felt extra loved before you left, you are so willing to serve me, i hope that I make you feel even half as loved as you make me feel. I love giggling with you and going on adventures. I know lately I've been so lame and don't do to many fun things with you due to homework but i love that you make everything fun.

dear Stevie,

thanks for being on of the best roommates around and keeping me company all day and being willing to help me craft and making me laugh and letting me vent. I have truly been blessed in the roommate department even when I'm busy with work and school and spend all my free time with Ryan ya'll are there for me no matter what.

dear Bowden,

my cute little 7 mo. old. I have loved nannying for you and your brothers and am so excited that your mom has asked me to watch you boys for the next couple months but last night was rough for both of us. I'm sorry you are teething but maybe next time you can try not to wake up 3+ times a night? I love you very much but you have made me very sleepy.

dear group projects,

oh how I loathe you. You have made my life very difficult but I am grateful for this oppertunity to learn patience and time management because between this project and all my other homework my planner is a neccasity. maybe we'll get along better next year?

thanks.

happy weekend folks!

tuesday thoughts

sometimes life blesses you with really great surprises in the form of canceled classes.

let me start off by explaining that this year has been a busy one for Ryan & I! Our schedules are so opposite and I'm on a farther away campus then last year and my work hours (that I actually really love) don't always line up with his life and his new position for his fraternity is more demanding the last year, as are our classes. So the little time we do get together is usualy spent doing homework and being lame, and I've been really grumpy about the business (he's handled it a lot better). but then today something wonderful happened! My morning class got out early so a friend of Ryans offered me a ride home and as we were driving Ryan called and told me to have Ethan drop me off at his place because his class was canceled!! Yayy!! We had TWO WHOLE HOURS before I had to be to work and Ryans next class started. So we took full advantage of that little gift and he went to Oregano's pizza joint for lunch.

& a lovely lunch date it was! 

We have been dating for almost a full year and we talked about how we were going to celebrate! We planned some fun trips and I finally got to spend some un-interupted time with my guy.

Oh, how I love him! Life has been so crazy and fun and busy and awesome lately! I'm so lucky I have someone to share it with! 

happy tuesday, friends xx

I hope you got some little surprises today:)

Friday Letters

Dear Ryan,
Thank you for everything this passed week. Thank you for being so loving to me. We will see each other in one short week, I am so excited. You write me real life letters and remind me how much you can't wait to kiss me and that makes me smile and gives my tummy butterflies. I hope you never stop kissing me and never stop giving me butterflies.

Dear Father, Sunday is YOUR day. I wish I could be there with the family but I can't. Thank you for supporting me and being proud of me. Thank you for reminding me that life is an adventure, not a chore. Thank you for teaching me to be in love with the out doors.

Dear Sister B, Thank you for all the food & love this week. I needed your homemade cookies and grilled cheese sandwhich stuff more than anything. Thank you for looking out for me and adopting me, I honestly don't know what I would do with out you.

Dear Heather, Oh I can't wait to see you. I can't wait for a long drive and laughs. Thank you for being the only one up in the middle of the night when I need to talk about my future, my boy and my excitment. Thank you for being just as excited as I am for CA next week. You are meant for so much. I can't wait to see where our lives end up.

Dear weekend, Please hurry by. Go by fast because when you are over I only have 7 days left until I am reunited with my boy!

Dear job, You seem to get more doable with every shift. More fun too. Thank you. Thank you to my co-workers and boss for your patience. I am trying my very hardest and I think maybe I FINALLY have it together.

Dear Self, Free your mind. 10 million thoughts a minute are not good for your health or stress. Smile. Relax and enjoy it. Trust. In. God. He knows, he really does know what he's doing. Pray more and just let go. Easier said then done. We'll see how this week goes.

Friday Letters

Dear Parents, Today I am very grateful for you. For your willingness to answer your phones. For your sympathy for my hurting and bleeding arms and legs and willingness to come bring me my bed, help me, support me, hug me, when I need you amidst your busy schedules.

Dear new boss, thank you for your patience and understanding. Thank you for hiring me and having faith in me.

Dearest Ryan, I love when you take the time to talk to me. The phone calls I always get during your breaks and your excitement equal to mine on our shared days off where we get to watch watch shows via skype. Thank you for constantly talking with me about my upcoming  trip to see you (23 days!!) and reminding me how much you can't wait to see me and kiss me.

Dear Roommate, I called you oh so frazzled. Thank you for understanding and helping me figure things out.

Dear Orange County, CA, Thank you for waiting for me with your sunny days, sandy beaches and endless fun. I will be there oh so soon and I can't contain my excitement.

Last My sweet Heather, you are my best friend. You are so strong, so so much stronger than you know. You are so very loved and you better remember it! Your kindness and sweet example have gone farther and touched more than you'll know, I can't wait to see you and road trip to CA and get some quality best friend time!! :)

Dear Self, Try to be thankful. Even through the craziness. Enjoy each moment. Don't let the time rush away because of excitement and anticipation. Enjoy the now. Please :) 



*linking up with Rachel

It's gonna be a long hot summer

You guys.

Today is the day I have been literally dreading since Christmas. Ryan and I said goodbye for the summer.

In my mind it's not that bad.

In my mind he's not that far.

In my mind I won't miss him  to much because we'll talk every day.

In my mind I'll see him soon.

but in my heart.... it sucks.

Last night he was giving me lots of hugs and telling me it was going to be okay but all I could think about was who is going to give me these kinds of hugs? Who's going to go get ice cream with me when I'm sad? Who's going to watch dumb shows with me and give me advice and let me vent. Who is going to give me forehead kisses and make me happy. 

but then this morning when I saw him and he had his sleepy eyes that I love so much I didn't feel as bad or as selfish. There were lots of tears as we loaded up his car with the rest of my stuff and dropped it off at my new apartment, when I left my empty dorm room and loaded his car up with his stuff this time. 

We went to brunch with his parents and then finally we got in his car so he could drop me off in my apartment. We sat in his car for a good amount of time. Getting all the hugs and kisses in we could, then he got out of the car and hugged me reaaal tight. We said goodbye and I walked up the stairs to my apartment and cried a little bit more. I cried to Emily and sat with her while she packed to go home for the summer, she gave me necessary hugs and made me smile. She's a good friend. 

I already miss him so much my heart hurts and my head hurts from crying so much but he is the best. 

4 months is easy peazy. 

We will be okay, I already can't wait to see him!

I hope you don't think i'm a fool, maybe just a fool for you.

 it's about to get reeeaaalll mushy all up in here.

I recently read a post by one of my high school friends chelsey over at Jade Demure she wrote all about her missionary & their sweet love story. She is also a fabulous musician! so go check her out!

wellll.... this made me want to write about the lovely boy that i've gotten to call mine for the last 5 months, first off all because he is absolutely ahh-mazing and secondly because above all else I use this little blog as a journal and I have not written about him an awful lot & I want to be able to remember all the little things years from now.

So let's start at the very beginning.

We met on september 23rd. I'm not very good with dates but it's both my best friends birthdays soo... I remember. I was having an awful day & I went to my friend Jacobs room to cry to him and tell him about my problems but he wasn't there and so this cute boy across the hall asked me what I was looking for and I ended up sitting in his room for a while waiting for Jacob- waiting gets lots and lots of getting to know you time in.

-A soild 9 days later on october 2nd he kissed me for the first time & then he asked me to be his girlfriend.

9 days?! I know, I know. I'm not sure what i was thinking either but hey! it seemed to work out.

Then on oct 10th we went on my faaaavvorite date to see a movie. I don't remember the movie but I remember afterwards we went to the library because it was cold & we were walking home. And any one that knows me knows that I am a hardcore nerd so running around the library looking at all the books and reading and giggling and looking at maps was literal bliss.

[We took this picture, I was wearing my little sisters shirt and had a strand of blue hair]

oct 25 & 26 he met my family and one of my best friends (Heather- one of the ones who's birthday is sept 23) & her boyfriend Kevin, who I had only officially met the week before and ryan went to a coyotes games with me because I love hockey & he needed to see how cool it is!

that weekend my family liked him & heather liked him so I started to realllllyyyy like him and being home and showing someone who I liked some where that I love was a really good feeling.

Then on november 6th my big brother & hero graduated from boot camp

& on the 17th he came to visit me and meet Ryan.

I was really really scared because James is the most important person in my whole life.

I remember telling my friend MarthaMary that if James doesn't like a boy that I'm dating then I won't date him any longer because my brother is ALWAYS looking out for me.

James liked Ryan... which made me like Ryan an awful lot more.

Ryan asked if I would go home with him for thanksgiving and meet his family so on nov 27 we drove 7.5 hours to southern california to spend thanksgiving with his family.

he took me to the san diego zoo while we were there.

here's my tidbit of relationship advice- once you move out "meeting the parents" is a real big deal. that's not true. it's really not. Everyone met my parents & siblings when I was in high school. Therefore, it just made sense for the people that are important to me in college to meet my parents as soon as possible. I'm so happy Ryan got to meet my family when he did- not even a full month after we started dating. And I'm even more happy he asked me to meet his family right away. If you think you like someone seeing them with their family will make you like them so much more. Ryans parents made me feel so welcomed in their home. They are so kind and generous. I was so grateful to have met them when I did because we have gone back to his home since then and I'm always so excited to see his parents and brother! 

Then on december 18th, I had to say goodbye to him for 23 days to go spend christmas with our families. That was rough. We hadn't been dating that long and I was finally starting to understand him and really like him and we had to be apart for a whole month. I hated being away from him for so long but it helped me realize how much he really meant to me. This summer is gonna be awfully hard because we will be away for 4 whole months but I think after winter break, now I'll have a much different mind set. Instead of thinking about how sad I'll be, I'm going to concentrate on the great opportunity I'll have to build relationships with my friends and family.

right before we left- Ryan planned a Christmas date and we tried to build a gingerbread house.

When Ryan got back from CA, I had already been in Flagstaff for a couple days and I was really busy, I was working basically every single day but we still found some time for fun...

we went to a Yellowcard concert because we love them!

Then I finished up my job& to celebrate we took a trip to CA to visit his family & I volunteered in his Aunts classroom

yes, we are wearing the same outfits as the YC concert, it bothers me too.

& Heather and Kevin came to visit so we went to the Grand Canyon!

It has literally been the craziest passed 5 months with this boy but I wouldn't have had it any other way. We have so much fun together no matter what we're doing. We get to go to FL in 13 days hang out in orlando! We love to travel. We always take trips to pheonix or california or winslow or the grand canyon. I go on lots of adventures with him. He makes me smile every day and makes me laugh more than anyone. This boy is my best friend in the whole world and I am so thankful for him every day. When I'm sad he lets me cry and gets me treats and gives me lots of cuddles and when I'm happy, he's happy for me. I am so excited to see where the next couple years takes our lives, together or apart. I know we will both go far. He is my favorite boy & I'm going to try to be better at sharing our fun memories on here!

birthdays & young love & other nonsense

You guys! It was Ryans birthday yesterday!

(please allow a little bragging towards the end of this post. After all it is boyfriends birthday... I think I get a free pass-- I normally restrain myself from getting to girly but I just kinda like him)

Nothing to exciting going on here in Flagstaff, It's so close to finals (plus we're celebrating Christmas this weekend!) and he's not that into birthdays so the planning thing didn't really happen on my part... yeah, I know that's probably breaking some kind of girlfriend rule but we're both pretty happy just to spend some time together (at least, I know I am) especially because we'll be spending a month apart over Christmas, we went to class and then spent a lot of time cuddling (my choice) and then we just ran some errands (his choice) and we came back and ate and then we played "Battle of the Sexes" with some of our friends, I was not very good but it is a game I suggest for sure! It was so fun. We bought the game at goodwill (goodwill always has so many inexpensive board games- full sets! It's the go to place!) and ended up playing for like 2 hours! It was so perfect to spend all day long with my favorite 19 year old boyfriend!

I also didn't take any birthday pictures (seriously, i'm losing major girlfriend points for Ryans birthday)

but here's one from California:

Ryan-  Thank you for everything and I mean EVERYTHING. the good & the bad. You have seen me at my best and you have seen me on days that are just awful and you put up with it all. I am thankful for you every day but especially today. I am thankful for you for always making me smile and thinking of me [and others] even on your special day. I am thankful that you appreciate what I do even when it's not that great. I am thankful for your honesty. I like that you take me on errands with you. I am thankful for the fun we have-- we always have fun, no matter what we're doing. I'm thankful for your kisses and cuddles and quiet moments and walks. I am thankful that you care and make an effort to show me that you do. I love when you tease me, because we all know sometimes I need that. I am thankful that you give me piggy back rides and pick me up (sometimes) and spin me when we walk and hold hands.  I am thankful that we are so comfortable around each other and I can tell you everything. You are the most handsome, caring, funny, honest & wonderful person I have ever met & I'm so lucky I can call you mine. All my friends have told me I'm in the honeymoon stage of this relationship, but I hope that never goes away because I fall more in love with you every moment. Happy Birthday, Ryan. I hope it's the best xx

See the beauty all around and in yourself & it will help you feel OK

Wellll... in just a few hours I'm off to California with the boyfriend to spend thanksgiving with his family but before I head off to do that I have to blog because I have so much on my mind.

I am thankful for my parents. I am thankful that when I call them in the middle of the night they drop what they're doing to talk to me. I'm thankful that when I can't stop crying they wait on the other end of the phone line until I can tell them what's wrong. I'm thankful that my Dad refers to everything as an "adventure" I am thankful that Nancy always tells me she believes in me. I am thankful they tell me they love me and hug me every chance they get. I am blessed by their positivity, their enthusiasm and excitement. I am thankful that no matter how old I get, they are the first people I call when I am overwhelmed. I love that they always remind me they are "a phone call away" and they truly mean it. Tonight, I just miss them but I love them and I am so excited about all the adventures I get to experience with their love and support to back me up.

I am thankful my siblings are truly my best friends. I am thankful I have two older brothers who taught me how to fight and always remind me if I'm being too much of a girl. I am grateful for Sam who made me a better hockey fan and football fan and remind me that boys and drama don't matter even a little bit. I'm thankful they taught me how to be tough. I am thankful for James who has been my best friend my entire life to be understanding, ask me for advice and give it to me in return. I am glad that he keeps me grounded and sane and understands every single thing I've been through in my entire life. I am grateful I have the sweetest, sassiest little sister Abbey to text all day and teach me how to be cute. To compliment me and always make me feel good about myself. To have my back when I literally can't deal with the stress and do me favors just to be nice. I am ever grateful for Hayden and his constant example. He is growing up to be the absolute best young man, I'm thankful he answers when I call and always says "I love you" I am thankful for his teasing and the fact that he reminds me to be silly and just have fun.

I am ever grateful for Heather. I am glad that we text every week and talk on the phone and she always knows what to say. I am thankful that she understands me and lets me vent. I am thankful that she texts me quotes and reminds me of what's important. I am thankful that I have a second family in her family. I am thankful she is in my life because this girl is the one person I know I can always count on to make me see things differently and be there for me no matter what.

This ones for Erin. Even though I haven't talked to her all semester, I am glad that I have the same best friend since I was 12. I am thankful that her parents adopted me and even when I don't call back they still love me. I am grateful that she is so much like her darling Mother and they both always know what to say. I can't wait to see you at Christmas, E. I love you xx

Last but never ever least I am eternally grateful for this fellow. The things he puts up with from me are praiseworthy for sure. He always keeps me laughing even when I'm grumpy. He always makes time for me even when I know he doesn't have it. He's always generous when we go out. He makes sure to say goodnight and makes me feel so appreciated. He lets me talk even when what I'm saying doesn't make sense or even really matter. He's honest even when he shouldn't be and is kind even when he doesn't want to be. I couldn't ask for a better guy in my life.

I am so blessed with the best friends that I've met at college (MM & Breezy.... that's you!) and with the best neighbors to have girls nights with. I have an awesome RA and friends from back home who make time to catch up with me in their busy post- high school schedules but I simply don't have enough time, room or energy to write about it all. I am headed out tomorrow and I am oh so excited! I get to spend 4 whole days in California with one of my favorite people. I am so grateful for his family and their willingness to have me in their home for this holiday. I am one very blessed girl! :)

Yeah, they'll tell you now... you're the lucky one :)

Prep yourself: this post may get a bit girly & annoying but just accept it. please & thank you:)

Okay, so this weekend I went back home to Gilbert (cause... ya know, I don't do that enough as it is ;)

I brought my boyfriend (surprise! I got a boyfriend, guys) with me & let me tell you... I was the happiest girl in the world to be in my favorite town with my favorite boy, spending time with my family & Heather! :)

[Friday night we had a double date with Kevin (who I didn't post any pictures of-- sorry Kevin) & Heather! We carved pumpkins and ate pizza and made smores... basically everything that you should be doing in the fall!]

[The boys made Heather & I scoop out all the yucky insides of the pumpkin... ick!]

This kid took me to In n' Out because I miss it so!

(slight girlfriend bragging moment: He also surprised me last weekend & brought me In n' Out after he was away for the weekend!)

I may just be slightly obbsessed with In n' Out and we don't have one here in Flagstaff so I any chance I can I get it:)

We went to the Coyotes game saturday!!! 

Don't worry they won ;)

It was the best weekend, I could have ever asked for. I am so thankful for this boy and my friends and family, I don't know how I got so lucky but I have the best people in my life! 

[P.S. Well, yes. I did use a T-Swift quote as my title for this post. Maybe I'm just a little bit annoying, guys.... but I promise, I won't keep it up. I know my IG followers are already sick of it.]