Today is the day I have been literally dreading since Christmas. Ryan and I said goodbye for the summer.
In my mind it's not that bad.
In my mind he's not that far.
In my mind I won't miss him to much because we'll talk every day.
In my mind I'll see him soon.
but in my heart.... it sucks.
Last night he was giving me lots of hugs and telling me it was going to be okay but all I could think about was who is going to give me these kinds of hugs? Who's going to go get ice cream with me when I'm sad? Who's going to watch dumb shows with me and give me advice and let me vent. Who is going to give me forehead kisses and make me happy.
but then this morning when I saw him and he had his sleepy eyes that I love so much I didn't feel as bad or as selfish. There were lots of tears as we loaded up his car with the rest of my stuff and dropped it off at my new apartment, when I left my empty dorm room and loaded his car up with his stuff this time.
We went to brunch with his parents and then finally we got in his car so he could drop me off in my apartment. We sat in his car for a good amount of time. Getting all the hugs and kisses in we could, then he got out of the car and hugged me reaaal tight. We said goodbye and I walked up the stairs to my apartment and cried a little bit more. I cried to Emily and sat with her while she packed to go home for the summer, she gave me necessary hugs and made me smile. She's a good friend.
I already miss him so much my heart hurts and my head hurts from crying so much but he is the best.
4 months is easy peazy.
We will be okay, I already can't wait to see him!